The thought that saved my life

©2008 Bailey Thompson

“I want to die!” I screamed as I slammed the door to my bedroom. This wasn’t unusual, by now my parents should be used to these four words. After all, it was true, I hated myself, I hated my life and I hated the world. I was miserable and bored with my life and figured the only way to escape the pain was death.

            Despite their best efforts, for months my attitude stayed the same and I struggled to keep myself alive. I continued falling asleep to ideas of how I was going to end my life. Daydreams in math class consisted of what would be on my suicide note. I thought there was no chance I would ever be happy and my best option would be to die.

            With time to think, I realized something that probably saved my life. I started thinking about all the people who are fighting for their lives in hospital beds. All those people who don’t know if they’ll see tomorrow but would love too. All those people who WANT to live. I had the life those people wanted: I was healthy, I was pretty sure I would see tomorrow. How could I want to die? It didn’t make sense after hearing about those who want to live but may not.

            That realization was a turning point, I decided that since I had the chance, I was going to make the best of it. I was going to live. There was no point in dying if I didn’t have to. From that point on, the view of my life was a little brighter.

            So now, when thoughts of suicide come to mind, I think of those who are holding on and staying strong for their lives. I think of how grateful I am to be healthy and alive. And for the first time in a long time, I’m happy to be alive!

 By Bailey Thompson

Author's note: This was not put here to scare or worry people. Yes, it's a true story, but I put it here because not only did I learn from that sudden thought, but other people can too. Thoughts of suicide are very serious.... People who are having them need to do what I should have, talk to someone. You never know how much it helps until you do it, something I wish I learned sooner.

For more information or a way to get help, check out the Yellow Ribbon Suicide Prevention Program.