If You Love Me, You'll Wait...

©2008 Bailey Thompson

(Not suitable for younger readers) 

“I love you”

I stared into the loving blue eyes of the boy who held me so comfortably. I knew what he was waiting for, “I love you,” I repeated.

His lips formed into a smile and his eyes closed. He moved toward me, his lips reaching mine. A rush of excitement and wonder came over me, it was a feeling I longed for, just being with him made me feel good.

He moved on top of me, pushing me down. The sheets lying on my unmade bed cushioned my head. His tongue moved into my mouth. Everything felt so right.

            He stopped for a minute. He wasn’t the only one who needed a breath. He smiled but stayed silent, just for a moment. He moved back towards me, his lips tenderly reaching mine again. Not unlike any other time, they were warm and soft. His kisses were sweet, not sloppy and I liked it. I knew he did too, he never stopped coming for more until we had to leave, only then, our good-byes were just as long.

            His hand moved up and down my body. Until it stopped, resting on my behind. His tongue made it’s way back into my mouth and it felt perfect.

            His hand moved towards my pants, then. Expertly, he opened my front buckle. Still kissing me, he led me to his. I ignored the movement and rested my hand on the bed sheet beside him.

            He stopped kissing me, “What?” He asked. A hint of annoyance in his voice.

            “I don’t know,” I answered, sensing his disappointment.

            “Don’t you want to go a little further than simply making out?” He asked me in a tone I wasn’t used to from him.

            “I don’t know,” I said again.

            “We’ve been together for 6 months now. Aren’t you ready?”

            “I’m not sure,” I told him, honestly. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t want to go further, yet. It was just too risky. I had a good future planned out for me, and I knew it, I didn’t want to ruin it because of one little mistake.

            He must have read my mind because he said, “I’ve got a condom”

            “Can’t we just wait? I’m not ready yet,” I begged him.

            “You are ready, I know you are. I’m ready too.” He said sweetly.

            “No… I’m not ready”

            “Why not?” He asked, getting impatient, “Everybody’s doing it. I don’t want to be a nobody, and I know you don’t either”

            “Well…”

            “Not only that,” He said interrupting me, “I’m on the football team. People that play football have to be cool. It’s not cool to be a virgin. If it’s not you, I’ll find someone else”

            “Can’t you wait for me? I’ll be ready sometime. I just need to know I’m ready mentally and physically. We’ve both got futures… We don’t want to ruin it by getting pregnant or something else happening.” I said, holding back tears. The thought of him finding someone else made me scared. I loved him… I did. I just wasn’t ready to give it all up. Especially my virginity – it was something I’d been saving for the right guy, and if he kept going on like this, he wasn’t the right guy.  

His face softened. I knew what he was thinking. He’d always wanted to be a football player; I knew he wasn’t about to give that up. “You’re right, I’ll wait for you, until you’re ready, promise. I love you”

I looked at him, surprised at what he said, just minutes ago he wasn’t going to wait for anything. Then again, if he really loved me and I really loved him, we could wait until we were both ready.

By Bailey Thompson

Authors note: First of all, this is not a true story. It was written as an assignment in health class to write about someone who was being pressured to do something they weren't ready for. The turnout of the story was quite surprising actually, which is why I've chosen to put it here.