Numb - www.baileythompson.ca

No emotion

No pain

No happiness

No shame

Its called depression

An evil monster taking over me

Changing me into someone

I never wanted to be

Everything's a daze

Each day’s a dream

I can’t run away

It’s impossible to scream

I’m trapped

In someone I don’t even know

Too lost to find myself

Too afraid to show

I could end it all,

Make my life end now

Maybe start over?

I know how

I’m too afraid of

What’s on the other side

It’s not worth finding out

What happens if you died

So I stay

The numbness appears

There are no emotions

It’s the best feeling in years

It’s a world of blank

No more pain

No more laughing

Am I going insane?

What's the point anymore

There's no reason to live

Like this, I’m nothing now

I’ve got nothing left to give

I can’t stay like this,

For some reason, I still want to live

“I promise to try,

I guess I don’t want to die,

I can do this, no lie”

I told myself with a sigh

Bailey Thompson

Author's note: I think I've got quite a bit of explaining to do with this one. Yes, unfortunately, it is true from my perspective. I'm not going to lie, I was hesitant to make it public. However, I do feel it has some value. I wrote it because I was having a very hard time describing how I was feeling, therefore it was impossible to talk to people to get help. So this was my way of describing things. I am happy with it, but I don't feel it completely describes it, I think it could be better. Fortunately, since high school started, things for me have gotten a little better. So no worries! It's impossible to go to sleep like this and wake up happy the next morning. I wish it was that easy, but it's not. As with all things painful, the healing process is long and hard. I know there are many people that are/were/will be in this situation and if I could tell them anything, I would tell them to get help before it's too late. Talk, talk, talk! Tell people how you're feeling. I left it too long, but honestly, you don't know how good it feels to finally get things out there. Even at the beginning.

For more more information and a way to get help, check out this amazing organization : Yellow Ribbon Suicide Prevention Program.