My Story (In Black and White)
©2009 Bailey Thompson
She was beautiful
But she didn’t know
They said she was wonderful
But she didn’t think so
She had little self-esteem
She hated who she was
She didn’t see what they seen
She didn’t see all she has
Her world was a world of black
She didn’t care about anyone else
She didn’t ever look back
She didn’t care about herself
She spent her days hid away
Where no one could see her
She didn’t want to hear what they’d say
To her sadness, which lasted forever
As each lonely day wore on
Her parents tried to help her
All she wanted was to be alone
They weren’t allowed in ever
At school she said nothing
No one could see her pain
She didn’t need the questioning
They’d just think she was insane
She cried herself to sleep
She wanted the world to end
Her pain was too deep
She wished it were pretend
Her friends grew too afraid
They didn’t know what to say
She didn’t hear what they said
But they tried to help anyway
She didn’t let anyone in
She didn’t share her pain
She didn’t think she’d win
There was nothing left to gain
So she suffered in her sadness
It got worse with each day
Each day, her will to live was less
Dying seemed like the only way
Her emotion all disappeared
It was all an acting game
No one saw the sadness she feared
No one saw what she became
She wore only black and white
That was all she was attracted to
It showed no darkness, no light
It was a secret, no one knew
She forgot who she’d been
She didn’t know who she was
Her real self was too unseen
Covered up by the act she does
All she wanted was to die
But something held her back
She didn’t know what or why
That told her to get her life on track
She looks back on the life she had
She knows how hard recovery will be
She wants to change her life so bad
She wants you to know, she is me
By Bailey Thompson
Author's note: Yes, this is a true story, it's my story. I wrote this after about a year and a half of experiencing this, but I was completely unable to describe to anyone how I felt. Writing has always been my way of getting my feelings out, so this seemed easy. HOWEVER, as I got writing, writing about myself was next to impossible. So I decided to write it as if it wasn't even me and it worked.
*This poem won an honorable mention for the Teen Creative Writing Contest at my local library*
If anyone is feeling this way, I would reccommend checking out the Yellow Ribbon Foundation - www.yellowribbon.org
What can I say? I like to write!
(c) 2009 Bailey Thompson. All rights reserved.
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